Cream of the Crap

That’s not a typographical error. Crap. Not crop but crap. Crap is a slang word that means:

noun
1. an offensive term for nonsense, or something worthless or annoying
2. an offensive term for an act of passing solid waste matter out of the body through the anus
3. an offensive term for excrement

adjective
an offensive term meaning worthless, useless, or lacking in ability

verb
(past and past participle crapped, present participle crap·ping, 3rd person present singular craps)

an offensive term meaning to pass solid waste matter out of the body through the anus

So what’s with the ‘crap’ talk?

Well, yesterday I decided to browse the Team Chiz forum since I have not done so in days due to three research papers. There was a new forum member who calls himself Jose Pidol. Again - that’s not a typographical error. Pidol not Pidal.

To say the least, he is not a fan of Chiz Escudero which makes you wonder why he decided to join our forum. Well, he is actually not a fan of current politicians although he seems to have a soft spot for the Fake One.


Despite of my laidback sarcasm, I do have enough vitriolic ammunitions against people who personally attack other Team Chiz forum members. Let’s just say that Jose Pidol received some of it last night. It’s a Capricorn thing. We’re not showy with emotions but are quite fiercely loyal friends. Although I have not seen most of the forum members personally, I consider them friends. Anyone who dares to hurt them will be placed at the firing end of my tirades.

What did this Jose Pidol said that caused my irritation?

He said that I and the rest of the Team Chiz volunteers are CHEAP because we campaigned for him for free.
He said that our pictures with Chiz Escudero (which are proudly displayed as our forum signatures) should be subjected to Photoshop.

You can now make your evaluation whether this person is rational or not. But for the sake of rationality, let me answer his accusations.

Cheap is defined as:
adjective
costing little: low in price or cost, or lower in price than might reasonably be expected

charging little: charging low prices but offering good value

poor quality: inexpensive and of poor quality

worth little: worth little or accorded little value

undeserving of respect: not deserving to be respected

unfair: dishonorable, offensive, or unfair, especially in a way that seems obvious or calculated (a cheap trick)

stingy: stingy or unwilling to give freely

I am pretty sure that despite of his deficiency in reasoning, he is using the word ‘cheap’ as ‘undeserving of respect.’

Team Chiz members volunteered because we want to help Escudero. In the same manner, can Jose Pidol call the Gawad Kalinga volunteers cheap? Many criticizes the expenses incurred during elections. Isn’t volunteerism one way of lessening the expenditures? Team Chiz volunteers are not cheap. Call them altruistic.

Regarding the Photoshop issue, one forum member said that subjecting one’s picture to computer enhancements is the same as electoral cheatings. Deep. What he means is that both results to fake products.


Come on. Do I look like someone who needs the magic of Photoshop?

Now that I have defended my fellow Team Chiz members - let me defend myself.

Jose Pidol added that I may have had a Monica Lewinsky moment with Escudero as a payment for all my volunteer work. He also asked if it was ‘short.’ This guy got some class, noh?

Here are my answers.
I do not have a blue dress.
I rarely wear a dress.
I only met Chiz Escudero twice a) the first one was with a friend and a couple of 2bU Philippine Daily Inquirer staff and b) second was last week with four other Team Chiz members in the Senate building. It would be difficult to do a Lewinsky in front of others. The best alternative would be an orgy.

By now, my sarcasm has equaled my cholesterol level. )

However, what really caught my attention is that Jose Pidol called my blog a crap. Short of calling it a shi*t hole if you ask me. It is fine with me. I do not mind if you call my blog a crap or a piece of dirt rag stuck in the as* of a hydrophobic filthy hag. I do not mind.

Maybe if Manuel L Quezon III called my blog a crap then that would have affected me. But it was a certain forum member named Jose Pidol who does not have an ounce of analytical and grammatical skills as MLQ3 who called it a crap.

Lastly, this Jose Pidol threatened to cut off my wings. Wings? Yes. Phoenix? The Purple Phoenix? Phoenixes have wings.

I got some bad news for him. The phoenix does not die. Because of its ability of rebirth - it is almost an immortal creature. Like the mythical creature, the Purple Phoenix will not die. I am too good to be killed by your empty threats. Cut off my wings? Try me.

Unless he is talking about the wings of a sanitary napkin…

Here's a new development. As I was about to post this article, I opened my private messaging box in our forum and there were to messages of an apologetic Jose Pidol. Ang bilis naman. Ngayon pa lang ako ginaganahan.