Wednesday, March 08, 2006

If Mayor Lito Atienza becomes the President of the Philippines (gasp!)

I wouldn’t make much fuss about the recent coupd’ etat in the Liberal Party which ousted Drilon as president.

Though this really highlights the “sipsip syndrome” that plagues Philippine political system.

Though this really highlights the wicked political maneuverings of Gloria the Beast – I mean Gloria the Best.

Though this really highlights LitoAtienza grand political ambitions.

However, what really scares me is the prospect that Atienza may one day become the president of our beloved country.

The Political Fundit thus looked into her political crystal ball to see the major changes that will occur if Tolits Atienza becomes (gasp!) our president.

  1. Being a major “sipsip” will be acceptable in politics (as if it’s not). No. it will be legalized (as if it’s not?). Loyal Erap in the past. Staunch Gloria at present.
  2. Hawaiian polo shirts will be the mandatory uniform of government officials.
  3. The Bayanihan Dancers will replace the Sexbomb Girls and the Wowowee Dancers in their respective noontime shows.
  4. There will be a 2-hour daily show on NBN featuring Kuya Kim Atienza in a Steve Irwin-Jeff Corwin show featuring snakes living in the Philippine jungles…and in Malacanang.
  5. Daily street protests led by Franklin Drilon should be expected.
  6. Malacanang will be transferred to Baywalk.
  7. Manny Pacquiao will be the Official Mascot of the Republic of the Philippines.
  8. Close-up Lovapalooza will be a monthly event.
  9. Lito Atienza will retain the highly-provocative NBN show “The Working President.” But TV audience will be treated with Atienza’s highly-cerebral drama series, “Maynila.”
  10. Remember Lito Atienza’s life story that starred Richard Gomez and Dawn Zulueta that was shown – if I’m not mistaken in IBC 13? It will have a movie version.

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