Thursday, December 29, 2005

Gloria Macapagal Arroyo's 2006 New Year's Resolution



  • I will only use my mobile phones for sending text messages. No more calls.
  • I will regularly send Mike (my husband) abroad for his regular exile.
  • I will forbid Mike (my environment secretary) from getting cozy with audiotape technicians.
  • I will not trust anyone including a cigar-chomping ex-president.
  • I will still but Inquirer but will only read the columns of Belinda Olivares and Mon Tulfo.
  • I will not appoint another person with an insane nickname like Joc-Joc.
  • I will always remember that popular widows are dangerous to my political career.
  • Insinuating that popular news anchors bailed out suspected terrorists is a BAD IDEA.
  • I will not allow Mikey to make another movie so that I could gain some respect from the movie industry.
  • I will not use God's name in any of my magazine interviews, unless I want lightning bolts blow me up into smithereens.
  • I will try to find an equivalent of Chiz Escudero from my faithful administration lawmakers. Lord help me...
  • I will replace Drilon as Senate President with Bong Revilla. Patay sila!
  • I will make sure that no CDs are sent to Ignacio Bunye.
  • I will join Celebrity Pinoy Big Brother para at least makaranas ako ng mataas na ratings.
  • I will try to give a really sincere speech.
  • I will try to smile sincerely.
  • And I will regularly drink my Growee Vitamins dahil tatangkad din ako!

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