Thursday, December 29, 2005

Top Ten Reasons Why Gloria Arroyo Believes that God Talks Back to Her

  1. She's getting delusional. First, she thought she won the elections, now she thinks she's having conversations with God.
  2. Gloria knows that God cannot deny her statment - unless he sends lightning bolts in her direction.
  3. She feels that the Filipinos will believe anything.
  4. Arroyo knows that it's hard to wire tap her conversations with God.
  5. Hey, this is the Philippines! Divine occurences here are as common as PAGCOR donations to bishops. If Marian statues cry blood why not bilateral talks between God and Ate Glo?
  6. Schizophrenia. Bishop Cruz said that if you talk to God, it's prayer; but if God talks back to you, it's schizophrenia.
  7. God moves in mysterious wys. And it could be as mysterious (and hilarious) as taking to a cheating midget.
  8. There's actually a historical truth to her claim. Jewish kings talk to Yahweh. Japanese emperors are said to have descended from divine beings. It seems world leaders can really talk to God. I just don't know if a unelected/overstaing Malacanan visitor is allowed to talk to God.
  9. We know it's a lie, but Gloria is a liar. She's just being consistent...
  10. but it could be true. She did talk to the Lord... a jueteng lord.

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