Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Break is Back



If you have some time and some money to spare then buy the special issue of Newsbreak regarding the last mid-term elections. It looks a lot like Time because of the red background. Plus you'll mistake it for Newsweek until you notice the picture of Ralph Recto.

I miss Newsbreak. It's one of those things I look forward to every week and then every two weeks. Honestly, I miss the weekly, then bi-weekly last pages of the magazine. If you have no idea what's included in the last few pages of the magazine, then you are most probably a non-Newsbreak reader.

This magazine should be a required reading for students. It makes more sense than requiring students to watch the bio-flick of Manny Pacquiao. That's true. Some schools required their hapless to students to endure hours figuring out the facial similarities between Manny Pacquiao and Jericho Rosales.

There are a lot of what if scenarios that popped in my head while reading my copy.

1. What if Jose De Venecia did not push for the Constituent Assembly? It will give Prospero Pichay an early start to campaign and could have (gasp) won. Now it can be told...there's something good about Con-Ass. It keeps rotten vegetables busy.

2. What if the Third Force of the Wednesday Group pushed through? Will they win or will they lose? I do not know but Recto will still lose.

3. What if Kiko Pangilinan ran under the Genuine Opposition banner? Then PLAN Co REVOLT would have been PLAN KiCo REVOLT.

4. What if Jericho Petilla maintained his slot in the Team Unity slate? The results would still be the same except that he will garner less votes than Cesar Montano.

5. What if Gloria Macapagal Arroyo campaigned for Team Unity? Edgardo Angara and Joker Arroyo will fight for the 12th slot.

6. What if Cayetano votes went to Joselito? I think it was Johnny Carson who said that if life is fair, Elvis Presley would be alive and all the impersonators dead.

7. What if Madam Auring campaigned for Victor Wood? Will there be a massive nationwide panic attacks and severe vomiting?

8. What if the 10 million strong Marcos loyalists voted for Oliver Lozano? Imelda Marcos would have gone ballistic because the same 10 million strong Marcos loyalists did not vote for her in the 1992 presidential elections.

9. What if the resume of Felix Cantal is true? Then parallel universe exists.


4 comments:

manuelbuencamino said...

great piece. very funny

fmontserrat said...

I almost fell out of my chair from laughing, particularly after reading #9. Is Newsbreak available at Nat'l Book Store?

mschumey07 said...

Hahahahahaha!

The Purple Phoenix said...

fmonserrat,
Yup still available. P120
I can't wait for their next special hard copy issue!

Hi Sir Schumey!